While traveling I am always taken by what some people write on the walls of public bathrooms. This great realm of overlooked art form is alive and well. However, I wonder if these same prolific ponderers write on the bathroom wall at home. Here are a few I have collected and more some friends have sent me over the years.

Actual Bathroom Graffiti

A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.

(Women’s restroom – Dick’s Last Resort: Dallas, Texas)

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.

(Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea: Tucson, Arizona)

Beauty is only a light switch away.

(Perkins Library – Duke University: Durham, North Carolina.)

Express Lane: Five beers or less.

(Sign over one of the urinals – Ed Debevic’s: Phoenix, AZ.)

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

(The Bayou: Baton Rouge, Louisiana.)

God is dead.           – Nietzsche

Nietzsche is dead.  – God

(The Tombs Restaurant: Washington, D.C.)

God made pot.  Man made beer.  Who do you trust?

(The Irish Times: Washington, D.C.)

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted and have the time of our lives.

(Armand’s Pizza – Washington, D.C.)

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?  CONGRESS!

(Men’s restroom – House of Representatives: Washington, D.C.)

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

(Revolution Books: New York, New York)

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

(Written in the dust on the back of a bus: Wickenburg, Arizona)

I’ve decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.

(Houghton Library – Harvard University: Cambridge, Massachusetts.)

Make love, not war.   Hell, do both, get married!

(Women’s restroom – The Filling Station: Bozeman, Montana)

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.

(Men’s Room – Linda’s Bar and Grill: Chapel Hill, North Carolina.)

No wonder you always go home alone.

(Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom – Ed Debevic’s: Beverly Hills, CA.)

Remember, it’s not “How high are you?” – it’s “Hi, how are you?”

(Rest stop off Route 81, WV.)

The best way to a man’s heart is to saw his breast plate open.

(Women’s restroom – Murphy’s: Champaign, IL.)

To do is to be.       – Descartes

To be is to do. – Voltaire

Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra

(Men’s restroom – Greasewood Flats: Scottsdale, Arizona)

You’re too good for him.

(Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom – Ed Debevic’s: Beverly Hills, CA.)

As a man I am glad to see that this form of expression isn’t limited to the men’s room only. Thank you ladies.

My favorite was on a wall at a club in Dallas, Texas many years ago. The management had the foresight to make the bathroom walls out of chalk board. So with hundreds of sayings, names, slanders and off color humor, someone had wiped a large space in the middle of it all and wrote the following in large block letters.



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